All or some of these extras are certainly nice to have, but not necessary. These are all my personal opinions. Although, that is what this blog is ultimately all about – SAVING MONEY ON WEDDINGS, so let’s get to it. What some may consider absolutely necessary, others may not. Even if all efforts are spent DIY-ing, the cost of supplies add up. See my post What is Important to You for more advice on figuring what to budget for.
If you’re like me, I fully intend on “not spending a lot” on most things/events/whatever. However, I have this need to make everything “perfect”. That is a recipe for disaster on spending. It’s best to have a detailed list of all your expenses up front for budgeting purposes.
Large Wedding Party
It is so easy to want all your sisters, brothers, cousins, family and friends to be such a close part of the big day. However, having large wedding parties is expensive and stressful. Even if your thoughts are, “oh, my bridesmaids are awesome and everything will be just fine”. Think again. Just about EVERY SINGLE BRIDE gets frustrated at some point or another with someone or a few in the wedding party. This is frequently centered around attire, but not always. Things that will be considered: dress styles, dress colors, shoes, hairstyles…(and who is paying), where they sit, walking down the aisle with whom or alone and to what songs, dancing….do they join in on the first dance or have a separate dance or one at all? The list goes on and on.
Lastly, but certainly the most important, are the gifts and things you do for them. This is absolutely not to be skimped on. A thoughtful gift is perfect for showing how much they are appreciated for being a part of all the details for months, and months, and months (and putting up with you!). Also, pampering yourself along with your bridesmaids is soooo worth all the memories. Plus, this is a once in a lifetime experience to have with your bridal party. With a large party, this will definitely be expensive.
Wedding Party Proposal
What I’m going to say is obvious….where was this concept when I got married? While it is such a nice gesture and I probably would have done it years ago, it isn’t expected. Well, it shouldn’t be expected. Bridesmaids and groomsmen will likely be very excited and honored to be asked to be a part of the wedding. Sure, some essential oils, soaps, tumbler cup, cigar, T-shirt, herbal tea or perhaps tequila would be fabulous. This adds up fast though, especially if there are multiple members of the party. A few inexpensive things is really fine. After all, it truly is the thought that counts. Even a beautiful handmade card would be super cute and appreciated.
Really, what DOES matter is how she is asked. An emotional teary-eyed question means more than an expensive box of stuff ever will.
Engagement Photos
It’s hard to resist this urge to have a beautiful photo session done now that things are official. Here is what I notice: a ton are taken and only a select few are shared. Ask a loved one that is notorious for taking beautiful photos to do a photo shoot. It would be fun and just think, free!! For different photo styles, invite a few friends to this shoot. The super nice thing about this is that you don’t have to worry about changing the date (if your friends are flexible) if the weather isn’t good. Also, you will likely be more relaxed and more apt to laugh which is captured joy in the photos.
RSVP Reply Cards
These are so unnecessary. They add extra cost to your invitation order and postage all adds up at over $0.50 per envelope. In today’s day and age, it is perfectly acceptable to have guests reply via a website such as The Knot or Zola. Those technologically challenged ones will ask someone how to do it or you may just have to end up calling them when their RSVP doesn’t show up. Honestly though, most of us know how to go to a website and navigate through it.
Photo Booth Rental
A photo booth can add so much fun for those guests that are not dancers. I have to admit, I am one of those guests that literally will not dance except for maybe one slow song (unless I’m tipsy, then all bets are off). At my cousin’s wedding, a bunch of us had a blast getting our picture done with different groups and with different props. I have a few printouts that are on my refrigerator now. When I was helping plan my friend’s wedding, I asked my cousin how much she spent on the photo booth. Her answer, $1200.00. Whoa!! What would cost only a few hundred (if that) would be a DIY photo booth set up. This would be just as fun to pose and make silly faces. The difference is the guests would use their own phones to take pictures. The great thing about this is that they are likely to be shared on social media so you would get a lot more pictures of guests having fun. Talk about some potentially entertaining selfies. See my DIY Photo Booth Ideas on Pinterest.
Programs
These are such an incredible waste of time and money. Even if you print them on your own paper from home, you could spend THAT time doing something ELSE! Trust me, these will get looked at during the ceremony when guests are either waiting or are bored during it. More likely they will be used as a fan. Sure, it’s great to know who is in the wedding party, what the order of events are and the words of the readings….but, it will be forgotten the second it leaves a guest’s hands. Those super cute little programs that were all printed and tied with ribbon will end up in the trash. Either the trash at the venue as it will be stuffed into a purse and THEN thrown away at home. This is a great keepsake for the bride and groom and maybe the parents, but that’s about it.
Signs
We have all been to weddings and we all know how things go. The ceremony, the cocktail hour, the reception, dinner and dancing. Unless you have a day planned with a lot of extras in between, then this sign can be left out. If you absolutely must do one of these, then pallets are free. Ok, so if you are having a rustic wedding, it’s cool. If not a rustic wedding, then please just skip it all together.
For that matter, most signs are really not needed. If there is a table with a guestbook or perhaps a jenga piece to sign, a sign doesn’t need to be placed there asking guests to sign. Humans are intelligent and can figure things out on their own. I don’t know why wedding became sign-crazy. If there is a lovely card box and gifts table, do guests need to know where cards go?
Favors
I know, I know, this is the fun part, right? For crafty ones….maybe. For the rest of us, we order something online. Have you looked at the prices of they typical favors? Anywhere from $3.00 to $15.00. Don’t even think of a wine stopper or bottle opener. For budget-minded couples, there are some options. Some super cute/artsy/crafty DIY ones – flower or plant ones are inexpensive options; make a donation in lieu of favors; or skip them all together. It’s not a big deal to forgo the favors. I see so many of these left at the tables. No one is going to think less of you if there are none and if they do, well those are the ones that just can’t be pleased no matter what you do.
Bathroom Baskets
All women I know carry with them what they think they will need. That’s why purses were invented. I, too, ditch my day to day purse for a dressy clutch purse or something similar when attending weddings. However, I make sure all that I need is in there. Sure, it’s nice to pop in a mint when freshening up, but I cannot recall if any weddings I’ve been to had bathroom baskets or not. I had them at my wedding and they ended up with hardly anything taken out of them. It is definitely a nice thing to do, but I don’t think guests would notice if these were NOT there. It’s not like you go into the restroom to get a mint, band aid, or pantyhose for that matter.
Disposable Cameras
I hope this option isn’t even considered, but if it is, take it right off the list. The number of decent photographs found to be taken by one of these cheap cameras are slim to none. Not to mention it costs and arm and a leg to develop all those. With today’s technology, there is no need to provide these cameras in hopes of capturing the precious moments. Guests have their cell phones. Hashtags are used for a reason. Put a simple sign on each table with your wedding hashtag for social media posting (these signs are needed as opposed to the other ones mentioned above or no one would know to use a hashtag).
Open Bar
We all know that this is expensive. There shouldn’t be any pressure to have open bar if the couple is trying to cut expenses. Guests shouldn’t expect to have all their drinks paid for. Although, I guess that all depends on what your guests are accustomed to. Well, if they need to be re-accustomed to paying for their drinks, then so be it. A “signature drink” can be offered instead of having open bar as a less expensive alternative – see my blog post, Signature Drink Surprises, for more ideas. Another thought is to have a Fruit Bar displayed during the cocktail hour.
Champagne Toast
When I was planning my wedding, I couldn’t get past adding $400 for my guests to just pick up their glass and take a sip (or few sips) to a toast given by our best man. It just didn’t make sense to me to add THAT MUCH for such a simple gesture. I get that the whole toast thing is big, but what I couldn’t get past was just how expensive it was to offer guests a glass of champagne to lift up and sip.
I came to the conclusion that my guests could pick up their own cocktail or their water glass to cheers to a toast. Ya know what? I don’t think anyone minded and if they did, I certainly didn’t hear about it. If you are looking to cut costs, this would be one that I would (or wait……I DID). If you absolutely cannot foresee cutting this out, ask the caterer to do a half pour or fill with sparkling white grape juice. Just FYI, most caterers use the $5.00 bottles of Andre an up-charge them to $10-15 per bottle. There is definitely room for negotiation there.
Entree Choices
If you are trying to reduce the catering bill, look into what the venue is charging for dinner options. It is almost always more money to offer a choice of entrees. I worked at the venue where I got married. The food and beverage manager could see I was getting stressed about all of the food options. He sat me down and said in a round about way to just offer a chicken entree, no choice. He said guests will not remember years from now what they ate at your wedding, but will remember if it was bad. So, that is what we did. Honestly, I don’t even remember what type chicken entree we had, but what I can tell you is with that advice, we reduced our catering bill by about $2,000. Read my blog post, Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner, for more of my opinions on that.
Large Tiered Cake
The four and five tiered cakes shown online and perhaps at some fabulous wedding expos are so expensive, like up to a thousand dollars. There is no doubt that they are absolutely gorgeous and at the same time scrumptious. When on a tight budget, this type of cake is out of the question. If there is a baker out there that does them at budget prices, I’d be surprised as it is true that you get what you pay for.
An alternative idea is to skip the whole cake portion of the reception and set up a dessert table. Get pricing from the caterer or perhaps a friend can pick up a bunch of trays at a local grocery store and set them up. If you can’t get past the traditional cake cutting ceremony, just order a small, double layer cake so it looks pretty and is good for the pictures. As a guest, I would much rather have the option of a few different dessert choices. Hard to believe, but not everyone loves cake (what???). The cake below is absolutely gorgeous, but at a price tag of probably $800.
See my Pinterest Board Dessert Ideas, Skip the Cake for inspiration.
Transportation After Reception
There is no need to pay the limo driver or whatever service used to get to the venue to wait until the event is done to whisk you away. You’re likely staying in a hotel close to the venue and are traveling the next day to your honeymoon destination. Take some advice, save the money on this. You are going to be exhausted and a loved one can give you a quick 10 minute ride to your sleeping destination. There is no need to spend hundreds to have your chauffeur wait around for you for a quick drive. Even if it is not so quick of a ride – you will be EXHAUSTED…save your money and have a friend drive you wherever you need to go after the wedding.
An exception to
