Let me preface this post by saying the bridal party are your loved ones. My advice may not apply. It honestly all depends on “what matters to you”. Maybe you don’t have a wedding party at all, or clothes are optional 🤣. Maybe you are laid back and don’t sweat the small stuff. If so, can you message me some advice? I tend to get pretty wound up.
The whole process of choosing a bridesmaid dress – picking a color, a style, a price that fits everyone’s budget, ordering, fittings, etc. can get stressful. Often, someone in the bridal party will drag their feet ordering the dress, or miss the deadline altogether. I see posts from brides all the time asking for advice on how to handle mishaps. Issues like this can also strain a relationship, and sometimes, permanently.
Consider a different approach. The best decision would be only to have a few girls, one maid of honor and one bridesmaid. The larger bridal parties add more drama, money, and stress. However, I know it is hard to do, especially when perhaps in your 20’s. I had many close friends in my 20’s. At 50, I can count them on one hand. As we age, “less is more” becomes a way of life.
Alternative Ways to Enjoy the Process
Initial Get-Together
It is a good idea to have an upfront conversation with your bridal party about your hopes and expectations, and early on. Possible expenses should be discussed. Better for all to be on the same page rather than for assumptions to be made.
From a bridesmaid’s perspective, last-minute plans can be an issue. It’s hard to say no and risk letting the bride down, especially if others are eagerly on board. Unfortunately, many brides don’t realize some stuff is significantly more important to them. Seriously, who is the one having non-stop wedding thoughts?
Having a get-together brings the bridal party together, meaning “collaborating” as a team. Yes, it sounds like business talk, but hear me out. If you think about successful business functions, big or small, they are similar: an event need, a budget, a timeline, and an amazing team to make it happen. Although the “team” are your loved ones, which you certainly DON’T want to treat like co-workers, but you get the analogy.
Keep in mind, the support given is by far more significant than the dress worn.
Seriously, think about it. If your maid of honor is amazing during the whole process and you couldn’t have done it without her, is it a tragedy if she ends up wearing a god-awful dress? No, it shouldn’t be. Keep the meaning of things in perspective.
No Micro-managing
Keep Bridezilla contained. 🙂
If you do choose a bridal shop for dress options, graciously bow out as the ring leader. Each bridal party member can handle everything that goes along with the order. If a deadline is missed, the issue is in their hands. By all means, DO be involved in the fun! If the maid of honor wants to parade around David’s Bridal in a dozen different colors and styles, bring it on!
Any Dress
That is right – let them choose any dress, well…. with some suggestions, if needed. This is common nowadays. Share your preferences – short, full-length, solid or floral, casual, formal, etc. I realize the color is important to go with the wedding theme. The best way to give guidance on color is to get sample paint strips from Home Depot or Lowe’s. Narrow it down to one color, and get the strip showing multiple complimenting shades. This gives the girls some flexibility and more options while ensuring it will be a color you both like.
My friend of mine had two girls – a maid of honor, and a bridesmaid. The age difference (20+ years) may have been an issue if wearing the same style of dress. They were asked to pick out any style in a purple shade and my friend just had to OK it. One wore a deep plum color and the other a lilac shade. The styles ended up being very similar, coincidentally and they looked perfect together.
One Color, Multiple Style Options
If you have your heart set on just one color, I suggest checking out JJs House and Azazie. There are so many color choices and hundreds of styles with sizes up to 26. Also, the prices are very reasonable.
Check out the options below for desert rose, as an example from Azazie. Below shows the first 7 of 488 style options! A desert rose color swatch is available to order for $2.00 along with all other available colors.
Shopping Day
Plan a shopping day for the bridal party. Pile into the car and head out for the afternoon. Add a stop for lunch or cocktails and some memorable girl talk. Now that sounds like a fun day! IMO, it is better than being in a stuffy bridal shop. Be sure to check out stores like TJ Max, Marshalls, or even secondhand places like Goodwill and Savers for super budget-friendly options.
Runway Show
How fun would this be?! Everyone can try on dresses and strut their stuff! Shopper by Day, Model by Night. I would have a ball decorating for this. It can be as detailed or as basic as desired. Add just a runner and BAM! Done! It’s a perfect plan if the dresses are ordered online, or purchased separately. Party essentials: dress rack, runner, photo backdrop, decor kit, robes, and whatever else makes you tickled pink. 🙂 Include the flower girl and ask her to “run the show”. She would feel special.
Time to shine like a 10-year-old again!
Buy some gaudy secondhand jewelry to add to the fun.
Amazon
For many options, I highly recommend using Amazon’s prime try before you buy program. I used this recently for my sister’s wedding. Dresses came within a week and the return process was super easy and quick (self-addressed return bag included). I will definitely use the service again to avoid shopping in-store and using the dressing room. I prefer trying on clothing in the comfort of my own home. Plus, I’m not tempted to buy anything I see on sale. Seriously, how can you avoid 70% off clearance racks?!?
To search for bridesmaid dresses eligible for the program, ALWAYS start from the homepage and enter a general search using “bridesmaid dress” only. Way more options will appear vs entering “navy blue long bridesmaid dress”. Do not use the categories. When the results appear, filter “try before you buy” under Prime Plans. Be sure to hover over the sizes to see which ones are eligible
To ensure you are on the homepage, click the Amazon logo on the very top left.
Whatever option you choose, ensure it is planned in a way to avoid the common stressors; and more importantly, FUN. I suggest sharing your eagerness to make it an enjoyable experience. Mention your openness to discuss anything concerning. I’m sure they will be relieved and happy to join in on the fun, rather than anticipating it to be time-consuming and expensive.
I love babelglyph’s view, “Ultimately, I feel like I have grown into whatever the opposite of a bridezilla is. Someone who is confident and happy and ready to negotiate calmly to get what she wants. Someone who is better off for wedding planning instead of turning into a scary rage monster of demanding doom. If anyone has a good term for that… let me know. I’d love to start using it.” ~ offbeat wed
Check out the pictures below with mixed bridesmaid dress styles and colors. Be unique! Also, see my blog post, Unique Bridesmaid Dresses I Love for additional inspiration.
Photo: KATE EDWARDS PHOTOGRAPHY
